Heidi To “Sing” On Miss Universe

The only redeeming quality of the Miss Universe pageant is that it does not have a talent category. We get a couple of hours of watching brain-dead bimbos shake their silicone in teeny bikinis and pretend they know something about world affairs, but at least we don’t have to watch them tap dance or hear them try to sing opera.

Alas, this year we will not be spared the efforts of ditsy blondes with no talent attempting to sing. MTV has delivered the tragic news that overexposed reality starlet Heidi Montag Pratt will take the stage at this year’s pageant on August 23 and attempt to sing “Turn Ya Head” off her debut album, “Unleashed,” which may come out someday if any label is crazy enough to release it.

Anyone who heard Heidi’s attempts to sing on “I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!” are familiar with the quality of her vocals. Having to hear Heidi sing seems like cruel and unusual punishment for the contestants, who are nervous enough already. But maybe Heidi’s “success” will give them inspiration, since they’re probably already more talented than she is and not as annoying.

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