Audrina Patridge and Lauren “Lo” Bosworth looked like twins in their black-and-white outfits as they filmed “The Hills” in Beverly Hills. Hopefully, Audrina will be getting her stolen stuff returned now that the thieves who robbed her have been caught.

Audrina Patridge was snapped visiting her agent’s office in Beverly Hills, CA. It looks like she took some notes of their meeting—smart girl!

It looks like fans of “The Hills” are not warming up to new lead Kristin Cavallari. E! reports that ratings have dropped by a third this season, following the departure of Lauren Conrad.

But is Kristin really the problem? Maybe viewers have grown tired of the show’s “scripted reality.” This show was a one-trick pony from day one, and the concept just gets older and more tired as time drags on. Better scripts might revive “The Hills,” but new cast members won’t.

“The Hills” star Heidi Montag was conspicuously absent from sis Holly’s birthday party at Hollywood hotspot Empire on Saturday, but not because she had pressing career business that evening. The more famous Montag was invited to the soiree, but refused to show because her sibling refused to pay for her presence!

A source dished to Fox News, “Holly was really wishing that her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid. I mean, this is her sister and she wouldn’t even show up without a fee. That’s disgusting.”

Yes, but not surprising from half of Speidi, Inc. Too bad Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt didn’t make the bash, since another of their relatives could have used a ride home.

Lauren Bosworth looked rather glum in all black and white filming “The Hills” on location in Beverly Hills, CA. Lo celebrated her 23rd birthday on Saturday at LIV, the nightclub in Miami Beach’s Fontainbleau Resort.

Like most of us, Lauren Conrad has had to downsize due to the economy. The former star of “The Hills,” whose high-end fashion line tanked big time at the trendier boutiques, has introduced a cheaper set of clothing at a place where her fans are more likely to shop—Kohl’s.

E! reports that her L.C. by Lauren Conrad line was introduced at a party in West Hollywood last night. None of the clothes were shown on models, but guests were treated to goodie bags full of the budget-priced creations, all of which sell for less than $60. Wanna bet most of those cheap rags went home with the help today?

Heidi Pratt’s Playboy layout certainly left plenty to the imagination. Now the actress hints she may be showing more in the future.

The newlywed star of “The Hills” told KIIS-FM host Ryan Seacrest, “Always leave them asking for more,” adding “Next time, I’ll have more to reveal.” But how does stripping for Playboy fit with her Christian values? “For me personally, I feel like God created the body, and the body is beautiful. The way God created us was naked. So I am not ashamed of it. I’m proud of it… This was such a blessed experience.”

But is that really the body the Maker gave her? It’s obvious that at least some of her parts were created by a plastic surgeon instead.

The only redeeming quality of the Miss Universe pageant is that it does not have a talent category. We get a couple of hours of watching brain-dead bimbos shake their silicone in teeny bikinis and pretend they know something about world affairs, but at least we don’t have to watch them tap dance or hear them try to sing opera.

Alas, this year we will not be spared the efforts of ditsy blondes with no talent attempting to sing. MTV has delivered the tragic news that overexposed reality starlet Heidi Montag Pratt will take the stage at this year’s pageant on August 23 and attempt to sing “Turn Ya Head” off her debut album, “Unleashed,” which may come out someday if any label is crazy enough to release it.

Anyone who heard Heidi’s attempts to sing on “I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!” are familiar with the quality of her vocals. Having to hear Heidi sing seems like cruel and unusual punishment for the contestants, who are nervous enough already. But maybe Heidi’s “success” will give them inspiration, since they’re probably already more talented than she is and not as annoying.

It’s hardly a secret that Lauren Conrad is no longer friendly with former co-stars Heidi and Spencer Pratt, but in the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar, the actress takes very open shots at the publicity-hungry pair.

The new Mrs. Pratt can be viewed in the September issue of Playboy, showing off her not-so-natural breasts. When asked why her ex-BFF chose to pose, Conrad cracked, “They’re not going to pay for themselves.” Meow!

The jibes don’t stop there. Conrad added, “I don’t call magazines and let them know about things so they can write stories. There was never an incentive to keep doing ‘The Hills’ so I could get into [Hollywood club] Les Deux. That was never the point. It was more to create a fan base so I can go create a business and do something I really love doing.”

It looks like there’s one thing Conrad won’t be doing—working with the Pratts again anytime soon.

Kristin Cavallari may be the new girl on “The Hills,” but it’s looking like she’s already being primed for Lauren Conrad’s role as the star of the show.

Cavallari revealed to E! News that she’ll be doing more than the 10 episodes that were originally announced by MTV. “I’m signed for two seasons,” she told E!’s Marc Malkin. “We’ll see how it goes, but that’s probably all I’ll really want to do.”

After a few episodes of putting up with the two-headed monster known as Speidi, Kristin may be ready to head for the hills—and not the MTV kind! 

Lauren Conrad has said “Bye” to her series “The Hills,” and is looking ahead to new career moves, but she won’t be making any major changes to craft a different image.

Conrad told Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush that, unlike many young actresses, she’s perfectly happy with what nature gave her—at least in the breast department. Her answer to his query on plastic surgery? “I don’t think so. But you know what, I prefer a flatter-chested look, that’s just kind of me. I think it’s more of a more of a fashion look. If you look at a lot of high-fashion models and things like that, they’re always you know, a little flatter… I like the way clothes fit better.” She added, “Big boobs? No, I mean… that’s what wonder bras are for!”

Of course, Conrad could be eating those words if her career starts to, shall we say, sag. But maybe she’s savvy enough to figure out that the stereotyped big-boobed bimbo look, complete with bleached blonde extensions and a spray tan, is starting to look rather dated. Who wants to look like just another girl hanging around the mall?

“The Hills” alumnus Lauren Conrad enjoyed a Beverly Hills shopping spree that included trips to Madison, Planet Blue and Barneys New York. I hope she gets another job soon to pay those bills!

Faced with declining ratings, MTV reality show “The Hills” needs an attention-getter—and the producers think they have it in Kristin Cavallari.

According to Life & Style, the actress will be making a whopping $63,000 per episode when she joins the next season of the series. An insider revealed, “You don’t have to pay the other girls that kind of money, but for Kristin you had to pay up.” Is she worth it? The source thinks so. “They needed someone new and fresh, who also came with buzz and a name that was recognizable. Kristin was the obvious choice.”

Departed “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad was pulling down a mere two grand more per ep when she left. This is bound to not go over well with the already snippy cast. But isn’t friction what the show thrives on?

So are “The Hills” stars Spencer and Heidi Pratt still on NBC’s wretched reality trainwreck ”I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!“—or not? At this point, it’s doubtful even they know.

On last night’s series debut, the pair acted like total delusional brats, threatening to walk off at least twice. This morning, sources were reporting that the couple had bolted the show and were headed back to L.A. from Costa Rica. 

This afternoon, stories are coming in that the obnoxious newlyweds have had a change of heart, and will return to the series. But will the suits at NBC buy into their drama and take them back? We hope not—but their relieved castmates must be hoping even more that Spencer and Heidi are gone for good.

Usually, an actress has to hit 30 to see her desirability being downgraded, but for two of the stars from “The Hills,” it’s happening already.

Lad mag Maxim is counting down their hottest women of 2009, and one reality babe has totally fallen from grace. Lauren Conrad, who rated at #56 on last year’s list, has dropped off. Cast mate Heidi Montag Pratt also had a major drop—from #36 to #81. 

Higher rated TV hotties include Hayden Panatierre at #36, Julianne Hough at #25 and AnnaLynne McCord at #21.

It’s not like we really expected a high-class affair from these two, but it looks like the second wedding of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt was even tackier than predicted.

You would have thought the publicity-loving stars of “The Hills” could have bothered to read a book on wedding etiquette, but it’s doubtful they can read at all. TMZ dished that guests at the Speidi bash didn’t even have access to an open bar. While beer and wine were free, they were charged $10 for mixed drinks. Too bad they weren’t informed ahead of time so they could sneak in their own booze.

If having to pay for their own hard stuff wasn’t bad enough, the food was more suited to a free happy hour at the local bar than an overhyped wedding. The miniscule snacks included a tuna tartar dish and “chicken salad on a cracker.” Yummy! Wonder if they got them on sale at Sam’s Club?

The reception was scheduled to begin at 6 pm, but the doors didn’t even open until 7:30 and the guests of honor finally wandered in around 9 pm. Yep, Speidi’s a class act, all right. Maybe they were too busy shooting retakes, since the wedding was shot for the season finale of “The Hills.” Too bad the guests didn’t have a catering truck on the premises.

There will be a touch of sadness when Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag say their vows tomorrow. Will it be because their loved ones won’t be there to share the moment with them? No, it’s much worse—they can’t find anyone willing to pony up for the wedding photos.

MSNBC reports the couple have failed to find one magazine willing to meet their price for exclusive photos of the nuptials, which will be filmed for the season finale of “The Hills.” Speidi will be forced to sell photos to several pubs if they expect to turn a tidy profit from tying the knot.

In Touch Editor in Chief Richard Spencer explained, “The total number that (Montag and Pratt) used to get from exclusive photos is down. It’s sometimes better to go all round with the deal and ensure you make money and get exposure, particularly when television shows are involved.”

You know times are hard when a couple of sweet kids like Spencer and Heidi can’t even whore out their wedding pictures anymore.

The wedding of “The Hills” pair Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag doesn’t happen until tomorrow, but they’re already annoying the hell out of folks who live near the site of the nuptials.

TMZ reports the pair have circulated a flyer requesting that residents of the Pasadena neighborhood around the church to sign a petition which would allow their film crew to shut down some streets and sidewalks. The flyer states Spencer and Heidi want No Parking signs on a strategic street “to discourage paparazzi from parking and hiding out in their cars.”

Yeah, sure. What that means is they want only photogs who pay them for access to get shots so no one can make money off their wedding except them—and the producers of “The Hills” who are filming it. Speidi better be happy the paps still want to bother with them, considering how they’ve whored themselves out already.

At least it will be over soon. But until spotlight-stealing pair Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag get legally wed Saturday, we’ll be treated to all the breathless tidbits we can expect from this event. E! revealed several details on the PR-ready extravaganza, so I’ve included a translation of what they really mean.

The Jewels: Heidi will be wearing jewels on loan from Neil Lane. We’re told they’ll worth close to $1 million total! She will get fitted for the jewels Friday before their wedding rehearsal dinner at Cut.

This means they’re borrowed and will go back to the jeweler as soon as the ceremony’s over. Lane will have a guard on duty to snatch them back before Heidi can conveniently “forget” she borrowed them.

The Dress: Heidi’s custom-made dress from Monique Lhuillier costs $19,000.

Paid for by MTV, unless that’s borrowed, too. If Heidi actually paid for it herself, it will be on eBay by the end of the year.

Guests: Just over 200 people are on guest list. Among the confirmed notables are singer Michael Bublé, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Khloe Kardashian, Perez Hilton, music producers David Foster and Cathy Dennis (Heidi’s producer, who also did Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”). Heidi’s entire family, including her mother, Darlene Egelhoff, who had previously shared her disapproval of the union, will be in attendance.

Everyone on this list either has had a reality show or wants one.

The Party: The wedding party is staying at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, the site of Friday’s wedding rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. The reception will be “intimate.” “Spencer and Heidi were going to have a reception on a rooftop location, but now they are asking guests to meet them at the sidebar at Cut after wedding ceremony,” an insider tells E! News. “They are not having a formal reception. Spencer just decided…He wanted it to be more intimate. He didn’t want a superhuge reception.”

He couldn’t find a venue that would do it free.

Honeymoon: The newlyweds won’t be leaving immediately, and there are “still a few destinations up in the air,” says a wedding insider. “At first, they thought Four Seasons in Maui. But now they are looking at Tahiti, Fiji, possibly Europe.”

The Four Seasons won’t do it for a mention on MTV so they’re still looking for a resort desperate for publicity.

The wedding can be viewed on the season finale of “The Hills.” The inevitable divorce can be viewed on an upcoming episode of “Jerry Springer.”

Lauren Conrad must have finally figured out her fans can’t afford to buy couture. These days, hardly anyone can. 

A month after the demise of her upscale line, “The Hills” star told USmagazine.com her new line of clothing, called LC Lauren Conrad, will be sold at discount chain Kohl’s. It is a California chic line,” she tells Usmagazine.com of the new brand, called LC Lauren Conrad. “It is a little more casual. They are basically trying to take that California style and make it accessible everywhere.”

Of course, “accessible” is a nice word for cheap. The line will be available in Kohl’s stores and on their website starting in October, for $20 to $60. And available on Kohl’s sale racks for half that by Halloween.